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Today is my 27th wedding anniversary.

Twenty-seven years with the same woman. Three kids. A lot of laughter, some really hard seasons, and more grace than I deserve.

I’m not a marriage expert. I don’t have a counseling degree. I’m just a guy who’s still trying to figure it out, still failing sometimes, and still deeply grateful that Aunalie has stuck with me through it all.

Here’s what I’ve learned so far — the pragmatic stuff that actually matters more than the romantic fluff:

1. Marriage is not 50/50. It’s 100/100 on the days you can give it, and grace on the days you can’t.

Some days you’ll both be at 100%. Most days, one of you will be running on fumes. The secret isn’t keeping score. It’s being willing to give 100% even when your spouse can only give 30%. And when you’re the one at 30%, receive the grace without guilt.

I’ve had seasons where I was a terrible husband — distracted, short-tempered, selfish. Aunalie gave more than her share. Other seasons, she was struggling and I had to carry more. That’s marriage. Keep showing up.

2. Your wife doesn’t need a perfect husband. She needs a husband who is present and honest.

Presence beats perfection every time. Put the phone down. Look her in the eye when she talks. Ask how her day actually was — and listen to the answer.

Say you’re sorry when you’re wrong. Say it quickly. Say it specifically. “I’m sorry” is powerful, but “I’m sorry I raised my voice and dismissed your feelings when you were trying to tell me about your hard day” is even better.

3. Being a good dad is simpler than we make it.

Show up. Keep your word. Listen more than you lecture. Admit when you’re wrong in front of your kids — it teaches them humility and that it’s safe to fail.

Love their mom well in front of them. That might be the most important thing you can do as a father. Kids feel security when they see their parents choosing each other.

I have three sons: James, Kristopher, and Chance. Chance is no longer with us, but he existed, he mattered, and he is still part of our family story. My living boys have seen me at my best and my worst. I hope they remember a dad who wasn’t perfect, but who kept showing up and tried to love their mom well.

Spend time with them doing things they care about, even if you don’t. Those moments matter more than any “perfect” family devotional.

4. Sex matters, but it’s not the most important thing.

Physical intimacy is important, but in a long marriage it ebbs and flows. What matters more is emotional safety and affection outside the bedroom. Hold her hand. Kiss her when you walk in the door. Tell her she’s beautiful when she’s in sweatpants with no makeup.

A marriage that only has romance when it’s convenient won’t last. A marriage that has friendship and respect can weather a lot of dry seasons.

5. Forgive quickly. Keep short accounts.

Bitterness grows in the small, unaddressed things. Talk about the hard stuff before it festers. Say “I forgive you” out loud. Mean it.

After 27 years, I can tell you the biggest regrets aren’t the big fights — they’re the small moments where I chose pride over peace.

6. Pray for your wife and kids more than you complain about them.

This one is simple but brutally hard. When I’m frustrated with Aunalie or one of the boys, the most powerful thing I can do is stop and pray for them instead of rehearsing my grievances. It changes my heart faster than anything else.

Final thought

Marriage isn’t about finding the right person. It’s about becoming the right person — day after day, year after year — for the one you promised to love.

I’m still learning. I still fail. But I’m more grateful today than I was on April 17, 1999, because I’ve seen how faithful God has been even when I wasn’t.

To Aunalie: thank you for loving me when I was hard to love. Thank you for the grace, the laughter, the patience, and the way you still make me want to be a better man.

To my sons — James, Kristopher, and Chance: I hope you see a dad who isn’t perfect, but who keeps showing up and trying to love your mom well. Chance, you are still loved and remembered.

If you’re married, don’t wait for the big anniversary to say the important things. Say them today.

If you’re not married yet, remember this: the best gift you can give your future spouse is becoming the kind of person who knows how to love faithfully when it’s hard.

27 years in, and I’m still convinced it’s worth it.

Several years ago at Nazarene Theological Seminary, I had to read Norman Wirzba’s book Food and Faith for a class on Christian ethics. When I first opened it, I rolled my eyes. Being somewhat close-minded on the topic at the time, I thought, “Oh boy… hippie ideology.”

I was wrong.

First of all, I cannot recommend the book enough. Wirzba writes with clarity and humility. He points out failures in our relationship with creation without making the reader feel like a complete failure themselves. It’s thoughtful, biblical, and surprisingly practical.

The reason I’ve been thinking about this again is pretty simple.

I’m forty-eight years old as I write this, and I have a wide range of hobbies — WWE, college wrestling, fishing, reading, building models, birdwatching, you name it. Recently, I decided I wanted to turn my flower garden into a real spot of tranquility (as much tranquility as one can find in a development with an HOA). I can’t turn the entire property into a wild nature garden… I don’t think the neighbors or the HOA would appreciate that.

But as I’ve been working on it, I’ve been reflecting again on what it actually means to care for creation in a distinctly Christian way.

Ecology Has Become Political

Unfortunately, “green living” has been hijacked and turned into a political ideology. You see jet-setting celebrities and politicians lecturing the rest of us about our carbon footprint while they fly private and destroy local environments. One very famous actor reportedly trashed a beach so badly it had to be closed. Meanwhile, some on the other side reject any concern for the environment simply because “those people” care about it.

Both extremes are foolish.

I suppose you could say I was “green” before it was cool — or hated. But my version didn’t come from political activism. It came from my childhood in West Virginia.

Learning from Pappaw

I was blessed to grow up next door to my mother’s parents in a very small community. By my earliest memories, my grandfather (I called him Pappaw) was already retired from the coal mines. He spent his days working in his basement workshop and tending to three rather massive gardens.

It’s the gardens I remember most.

Every spring, summer, and fall, I helped him lug 5-gallon buckets of water up and down each row so he could give every plant a half mason jar of water. But what stuck with me even more were his stories and practical wisdom.

He planted massive sunflowers for no other reason than “to feed the bees, Casper. We have to be responsible.”

One of his gardens rotated every year. He’d plant soybeans and then simply plow or till them back under “to restore what the plants took from the soil last year.” It was green living without the name or the politics — just good stewardship.

If I had an apple, I was expected to eat all of it, right down to the seeds (he called them “eeples”). Nothing was wasted. A lot of that was hard-won by living through the Great Depression, but a lot of it was simple common sense transitioning into a “more modern era.”

Back to My Garden

I really like birds. I’ve recently gotten into birding. I have several bird feeders on my property and will be installing a couple bird houses shortly. I watch the birds hop around, eat seed, whatever. We’ve had a rabbit — we call her Fluffy — living under one of my knockout roses in the daytime. Her den is in my neighbor’s yard. I like honey bees.

I got to thinking: “What can I plant that will grow back year after year that will attract birds, bees, insects, all the pollinators — AND look pretty?” Pretty is nice, but secondary to functional.

According to my research, the answer was Black Eyed Susans, Catmint, Butterfly Bushes, Bee Balm, Purple Coneflowers, Shasta Daisies, Irish Moss, Creeping Phlox, and Salvia. I also added a raspberry bush. They’re just now starting to show flowers, and Fluffy is even more at home… eating the Phlox.

The benefit is seeing the bees all over it. I’m actually very allergic to bee stings, but I can sit and watch European Honey Bees all day long. The birds have been coming more and more — House Finches, American Goldfinches, Mourning Doves, the occasional Northern Cardinal, Red-Winged Blackbird, Chipping Sparrows, and others. The Robins love the worms the gardening scares up.

So… what does this have to do with Wirzba’s book? Hang on — I’m getting there.

Dominion Is Not Destruction

First thing we need to remember: while God gave us dominion over this world, He absolutely did not give us a mandate to destroy it. There is an old Alabama song that says “it’s only ours to borrow, let’s save some for tomorrow.”

This is also true. I’d like to think we’re well past the “whatever works for me right now and to hell with the future or those who complain about it.”

Here’s the thing: there’s something about growing your own food — or even just tending a garden with care — that will change you. I’m not allowed to grow food in my current neighborhood, but I have this daydream of an ecological homestead of, say, 30 acres where only fewer than 5 will be developed for human use… the rest of it left alone or developed to the benefit of the other creatures that inhabit it — deer, coyotes, Pileated Woodpeckers, black rat snakes. Nothing is too “vile” or “scary” to be stewarded.

To set this up, I have to tell you a couple truths: I don’t hunt. I fish, but every fish I catch gets a kiss and tossed back. I don’t like killing animals.

But I have zero problem with those who harvest animals responsibly, and I still eat meat that I buy at the grocery store… which is where the problem begins for me, and most of us.

Wirzba wrote, “Food is about the relationships that join us to the earth, fellow creatures, loved ones and guests, and ultimately God. How we eat testifies to whether we value the creatures we live with and depend on” (Wirzba, p. 6).

Eating is necessarily destructive — there’s no way around that. But we can limit that destruction.

As I’ve said, I love to fish, but I’m a catch-and-release guy. In Ohio, the minimum limit to keep a Walleye is 15 inches and you can only keep 6. Walleye is a huge deal here, especially in Lake Erie and the Maumee River… and the conservation-minded will call you out if you’ve foul-hooked one or try to keep those you shouldn’t.

But… what if people aren’t watching? If you’ll only do it when nobody is watching, that’s an indicator you know it’s wrong. Pretty soon everybody keeps a few that are 14”, then the bar gets lowered; or “what’s the harm in keeping 8?” A million people keeping 2 extra is two million extra fish kept when they shouldn’t.

That expedites the destruction of the fishery and does irreparable harm to the ecosystem, eventually bringing stricter restrictions or shutting down the sport entirely.

Factory farming has removed us too far from the destructiveness of our eating habits, causing us to be a bit more gluttonous and more animals to needlessly die. We just need to pause and think a bit more.

Giving Back More Than We Take

Then the “real green” comes in: giving back more than you’ve taken. Setting up a refuge. Don’t kill a coyote just because it exists. Simple stuff like that.

God gave us dominion over creation (Genesis 1:26-28), but dominion is not domination or destruction. The Hebrew word for “subdue” (kabash) and “rule” (radah) is balanced by Genesis 2:15, where humanity is placed in the garden “to work it and take care of it” (avad and shamar — the same words used for serving God and keeping His commandments). We are stewards, not owners. The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it (Psalm 24:1).

Wirzba reminds us that how we eat reveals whether we value the creatures we live with and depend on. When we forget the cost of our food — the soil depleted, the animals treated as commodities, the waste generated — we live as if creation exists only for our convenience.

My Pappaw didn’t call it “ecology.” He just called it being responsible.

Maybe we need to recover that kind of simple, humble stewardship — free from both political ideology and careless indifference.

What do you think? Have you seen practical ways to care for creation that feel faithful rather than performative? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

I recently saw a video in which the speaker quotes Romans 13 (“no leader is in power without God’s authority”) and then immediately claims we are also commanded to “ignore false leaders.” She uses this to justify opposing certain political figures, particularly the current American President.

This is a textbook case of twisting Scripture for political purposes.

The Actual Biblical Context

Romans 13:1-7 is remarkably clear: civil authorities are established by God, and Christians are generally called to submit to them — paying taxes, honoring them, and living as good citizens. Paul wrote this while living under Nero, one of the most corrupt and brutal emperors Rome ever had (see Bruce, 1985; Schreiner, 1998). The command is not limited to leaders we like.

The New Testament repeatedly commands us to pray for all leaders, not just the ones we approve of:

“I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people — for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.” (1 Timothy 2:1-2)

This includes leaders we dislike, disagree with, or even find morally repulsive. Prayer is not endorsement. It is obedience (see Towner, 2006; Mounce, 2000).

The “counter verses” the speaker alludes to — warnings about false teachers, false prophets, and not following those who lead people into sin or false doctrine — are almost entirely about spiritual authority inside the church, not civil government.

False teachers and false prophets in the New Testament are those who distort the gospel, promote immorality, or lead people away from Christ (2 Peter 2:1-3, Jude 3-4, Matthew 7:15-20, 2 Corinthians 11:13-15; see Carson, 1987; Schreiner, 2003). There is a massive categorical difference between a political leader you dislike and a false spiritual leader.

Jesus Himself modeled submission to civil authority even when it was unjust. He paid the temple tax (Matthew 17:24-27), submitted to Pilate’s authority during His trial (John 19:11), and told His followers to “render to Caesar what is Caesar’s” (Matthew 22:21; see Blomberg, 1992). Civil disobedience is sometimes justified (Acts 5:29 — “We must obey God rather than men”), but only when the government explicitly commands us to sin or forbids us from obeying God. Disagreeing with policy or a leader’s personality is not the same thing.

Who is speaking?

The speaker has no formal theological credentials. A review of her content shows her output is overwhelmingly dominated by intense political opposition to Donald Trump. One video even states she left Bethel Church because they “promoted Trump.” That is a remarkably shallow reason to leave a church. Her material reads far more like political activism than biblical exposition.

It becomes clear that her interpretation is not driven by a desire to faithfully exposit the text, but by personal animus toward the current president. Hatred — even of a flawed leader — should never override biblical authority or context.

Let me be clear on this point: I do not support Donald Trump. I have significant disagreements with him on character, rhetoric, and several policy matters. But he currently holds real authority as President of the United States. According to Scripture, that authority exists under God’s sovereign permission (Romans 13:1; Daniel 2:21; John 19:11). My personal dislike does not nullify the biblical command to pray for him and to recognize the reality of governing authority.

The Real Issue

Scripture is not a political weapon to be wielded against whichever party or person we dislike. Both sides do this constantly. In this case, the selective use of Romans 13 — affirming God’s sovereignty when convenient, then pivoting to “ignore false leaders” when it’s not — is manipulative and dangerous.

Jesus is not a Republican. Jesus is not a Democrat. Jesus is King (John 18:36-37; Revelation 19:16).

Our ultimate allegiance is to Him, not to any earthly political tribe. Christians can and should engage in the public square — voting according to conscience, advocating for justice, speaking truth — but we must stop pretending Jesus would fully endorse either major party’s platform or that disliking a president gives us permission to twist Scripture to fit our narrative.

Let’s stop using the Bible to justify our tribal loyalties. Let’s return to reading it on its own terms, in its own context, under the lordship of Christ alone.

The Kingdom of God is not a political platform. It is a radically different way of being human under the rule of King Jesus.

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Citations:

• F.F. Bruce, The Epistle of Paul to the Romans (1985)
• Thomas R. Schreiner, Romans (Baker Exegetical Commentary, 1998)
• Philip Towner, The Letters to Timothy and Titus (2006)
• William D. Mounce, Pastoral Epistles (2000)
• D.A. Carson, “Matthew” in The Expositor’s Bible Commentary (1987)
• Thomas R. Schreiner, 1, 2 Peter, Jude (2003)
• Craig L. Blomberg, Matthew (1992)

Both political parties love to claim Jesus as one of their own. Democrats often say He was basically a socialist who would support expansive government redistribution and social programs. Republicans frequently treat Him like the ultimate culture warrior for conservative values, emphasizing personal morality, law and order, and limited government.

Both are wrong.

Jesus is King, not a mascot for American politics. He refuses to be co-opted by any earthly ideology or party platform. Trying to squeeze Him into our modern left-right spectrum does violence to who He actually is.

1. “Jesus was a socialist” is a bad reading

It is true that Jesus cared deeply for the poor. He repeatedly warned about the spiritual danger of wealth (Matthew 19:23-24, Luke 12:15-21), commanded radical generosity (Luke 6:30-35, 18:22), and said that how we treat the hungry, the stranger, the sick, and the imprisoned is how we treat Him personally (Matthew 25:31-46). He praised the widow who gave her last two coins (Mark 12:41-44) and told stories that lifted up the marginalized.

However, Jesus never endorsed socialism as a political or economic system. He told parables that assume personal responsibility, diligence, and good stewardship. In the Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:14-30), the master rewards the servants who faithfully worked with what they were given and harshly judges the one who buried his talent out of fear and laziness. The unjust steward is held accountable for his mismanagement (Luke 16:1-13). Later, the Apostle Paul writes plainly, “If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat” (2 Thessalonians 3:10).

Jesus called individuals to voluntary, sacrificial generosity out of love for God and neighbor — not coercive redistribution enforced by the state. Socialism, as a system, tends to disincentivize work, concentrate power in government hands, and reduce personal responsibility. These outcomes are foreign to the teachings of Jesus. He never advocated for a centralized state to manage wealth; He called people to radically generous hearts.

2. Republicans often miss the other half

Many on the right rightly emphasize personal morality, repentance, and the importance of character. Jesus did uphold moral truth without apology. He affirmed the moral law (Matthew 5:17-20), called people to repentance (Mark 1:15), and never shied away from naming sin.

But Jesus also spent an enormous amount of time with the poor, the outcast, the sick, the tax collectors, and the marginalized. He commanded His followers to do the same — not just as private individuals, but as a visible community that cares for the vulnerable (Luke 4:18-19, James 1:27, Galatians 2:10, Matthew 25:31-46). He told the rich young ruler to sell everything and give to the poor (Mark 10:21). He praised the Good Samaritan who crossed social and ethnic lines to help a stranger in need (Luke 10:25-37).

Many conservatives talk a lot about personal responsibility and moral standards while conveniently downplaying or ignoring the biblical commands to care for the least of these in concrete, sacrificial ways. Personal morality and systemic neglect of the vulnerable cannot be separated in the teaching of Jesus. Both matter.

Jesus challenges both sides

Jesus doesn’t fit neatly into our political categories. He challenges both sides at the same time.

He demands both personal responsibility and sacrificial care for the least of these. He calls His people to be salt and light in every sphere of life — not to baptize one political tribe as “God’s side” and treat the other as the enemy.

The Kingdom of God is not a political platform. It is a radically different way of being human under the rule of King Jesus. It transcends left and right, capitalism and socialism, Republican and Democrat. It judges every system and every ideology by the standard of God’s righteous character and His revealed will in Scripture.

When we try to make Jesus a mascot for our team, we shrink the gospel and turn the King of kings into a prop for our political ambitions. That is idolatry.

Christians should engage in the public square. We should vote, advocate for justice, speak truth, and work for the common good. But we must never confuse any political party with the Kingdom. Our ultimate allegiance is to King Jesus alone — not to red or blue, not to elephants or donkeys.

The gospel is bigger than American politics. Let’s stop trying to make Jesus fit into our boxes. He won’t. He never has.