Ignored Into Irrelevance?

How hypocrisy, cliques, and politics are driving people from the church.

People aren’t leaving the church because Jesus asked too much of them. They’re leaving because His people shouted the rules while ignoring the rule of love.

I had planned to write today about the message to the church in Pergamum, but something has been burning in me that can’t wait. The latest data from Pew and others confirm what many of us already see: the American church is shrinking. For the first time, fewer than half of Americans claim a church affiliation. More and more identify as “religious nones.”

That’s not just a statistic—it’s a warning bell.

And here’s the part that needs to be said plainly: people are not leaving the church because of “rules.” They’re not storming out because Jesus asked them to forgive their enemies, or because Scripture calls us to holiness. The evidence is clear: the real reasons people are leaving Christianity are closer to home. Hypocrisy. Broken promises. Power games. Cliques. Politics.

In other words: it’s us.

Jesus’ Anger Wasn’t for “Them,” It Was for Us

Look at Jesus in Matthew 21, flipping tables in the temple. Or in Matthew 23, pronouncing “woe to you, scribes and Pharisees” again and again. His sharpest words weren’t for the drunk in the tavern, the prostitute in the alley, or the tax collector. They were aimed at the religious leaders—the very people who were supposed to shepherd the flock.

• They preached, but did not practice.
• They piled heavy burdens on others while excusing themselves.
• They loved the seats of honor but neglected justice, mercy, and faithfulness.

Sound familiar? It should.

Jesus wasn’t furious about sacrifices being sold in the temple; that practice actually helped worshipers offer what was required. He was furious because the sellers had turned worship into self-serving arrogance. They looked holy on the outside, but inside they were rotten.

The problem wasn’t the rules. The problem was hypocrisy—and church hypocrisy is one of the most common reasons people leave today.

A Teenager in the Pew

I know this from personal experience. As a teenager, I was president of my church youth group. On the surface, I was “in.” Secretly, I thought it was nonsense. I wanted to believe, but the behavior I saw from some church folks made it impossible to reconcile what I read about Jesus with what I experienced from his people.

I was told I was “incorrigible.” I was mocked for acne. I watched men preach holiness on Sunday while cheating on their wives during the week. I heard drunken tirades from people who declared alcohol the devil’s poison.

Let me be clear: our pastors were good people. The issue wasn’t leadership from the pulpit. The issue was the people in the pews who loudly condemned others while hiding their own sins behind the curtain. And when you’re young and desperate to see integrity, hypocrisy kills faith fast.

So as soon as I could, I walked away.

If the church is shrinking, it’s not because the gospel failed—it’s because we’ve failed the gospel.

Data Doesn’t Lie

My experience isn’t unique. David Kinnaman’s research in UnChristian found that 85% of young outsiders—and even 47% of young churchgoers—see Christianity as hypocritical. They’ve been exposed long enough to conclude that Christians don’t look all that different from non-Christians.

The numbers back it up. Christians are just as likely as non-Christians to gamble, view pornography, cheat, or abuse others. If you can get the same treatment in the world—with fewer lectures and no Sunday alarm clock—why stick around?

This is a major reason for the decline of church attendance.

The Clique Problem

And let’s be honest: churches are often terrible at welcoming new people. Too many operate like private clubs, not families of faith. Walk into a new congregation and you can feel it—you’re “not one of us.”

Cliques aren’t just about where you sit at a potluck. They poison worship itself. I’ve seen entire ministries revolve around one personality, where disagreeing with the leader means exile. Leave a position, and suddenly you’re invisible. People you thought were friends look right past you, as though you don’t exist.

That isn’t just disappointing. It’s devastating. And it’s exactly the opposite of what the body of Christ is supposed to be: one Spirit, many members, all indispensable.

When people encounter that kind of arrogance and exclusion in a place that preaches love and humility, they don’t stick around. Church cliques are one of the most unspoken but powerful reasons people leave the church today.

The Politics Problem

Then there’s politics. I hate politics with the core of my soul. I vote, but beyond that, I avoid it. And yet many churches have decided to become your angry uncle at Thanksgiving dinner.

For conservatives, this often means hammering issues like abortion and pornography without showing compassion to those who are hurting. For progressives, it often means parroting secular activism until the gospel is indistinguishable from a campaign slogan.

Either way, people leave. Younger evangelicals in particular are exhausted by the fusion of the gospel with partisanship. They want to see the church serve the poor, comfort the addicted, and live out Christ’s compassion—not act like a voting bloc.

The church doesn’t need a new marketing campaign. It needs to rediscover honesty, humility, and holiness.

Scandals and Celebrity Christianity

Scandals have poured gasoline on the fire. Carl Lentz. Mark Driscoll. The list of disgraced pastors grows, and every fall paints all evangelicals with the same brush.

Add to that the rise of “celebrity Christianity.” Some believers use their fame to proclaim Christ—that’s authentic (think Tim Tebow, or the revival sparked by athletes at Ohio State and WVU). Others chase fame under the banner of Christianity. When pastors build platforms instead of disciples, the gospel starts to look performative, not powerful.

The Heart of It All

At the end of the day, people aren’t leaving because Jesus asked too much. They’re leaving because we lived too little of what he taught. They don’t see a people marked by humility, integrity, or love. They see fighting, arrogance, and self-promotion.

Cliques instead of community.
Politics instead of gospel.
Hypocrisy instead of holiness.

Jesus’ words to the Pharisees echo in our ears: “You are like whitewashed tombs—beautiful on the outside, but inside full of dead bones.”

If we keep living this way, we’ll become irrelevant, a relic meeting in living rooms while the world walks on by. But if we clean the inside of the cup—if we embody justice, mercy, and faithfulness—then the church will be what Christ called it to be: a light in the darkness, a city on a hill.

If we don’t change, the church won’t be persecuted out of existence—it’ll be ignored into irrelevance.